by Khawlah bint Yahya
Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu dear brothers and sisters,
This week we are going to look into our hearts and be really honest with ourselves.
In the last weeks we’ve discussed our situation on the siraat (the bridge over the hellfire), our situation in dealing with stress and worries in Islam, and, last week, the positive benefits of remembering death.
Now all of these come together in this week’s topic: the importance of forgiving others!
Did You Really Forgive That Person?
Most of us know there are several ayaat (often translated as “verses”, but “signs” is a more appropriate word) about the importance of forgiving others in our lives.
Then the interesting bit comes— bringing it into practice. To be really honest with yourself, have you always forgiven others for the wrongs they’ve done to you? Or have you just said, “I forgive you,” while ill feelings lingered in your heart?
Let’s look at one part of this beautiful ayah:
“. . . and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” [Quran 24:22]
I read many times over this ayah, but one day I really “reflected” on it. Allah subhanahu wa ta’alaa created us and He knows what is best for us. This is something we often seem to forget. Allah knows it can be very hard to really forgive someone who hurt you and in this ayah we are given the greatest motivation to push ourselves to forgive; it’s Allah’s forgiveness.
Forgive to Be Forgiven!
Allah ‘azza wajal is telling us here what the big motivator is for us suppressing our nafs (ego) and forgiving other people, even when they don’t even ask for our forgiveness.
We do it for Allah.
That is the importance of forgiveness. There’s no space for a big ego if you want to be forgiven by Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala.
When we think of forgiveness we mostly think of Allah’s forgiveness and we forget how important it is that we also forgive. We need to remember both, because if we don’t forgive we do wrong in our relationship with Allah as well as in our relationships with each other. How can we expect Allah subhanahu wa ta’alaa to forgive us, while we are not even willing to forgive others?
The Miracle of the Quran: the Benefits of Forgiving Others
American scientists recently discovered that stress-related backache, insomnia and stomachaches were significantly reduced among individuals who had the habit of forgiving others.
So forgiving others improves your physical ability and lightens your heart, which makes it the recipient of a great source of reward from Allah ‘azza wajal— also an amazing productivity tip!
The Struggle, the Reward
Our journey to the Hereafter is full of difficulties and tests, this is our way to prove who we are and this process includes injustice being done to us at the hands of others. If we truly want Allah’s love and forgiveness we must remember that the hurts of this world are only temporary.
Look at this beautiful treasure: I guarantee a house in Jannah (Paradise) for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right; and I guarantee a house in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even for the sake of fun; and I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannah for one who has good manners. [Imam Abu Dawud]
To motivate us to be the first in showing our good behaviour, there is a beautiful hadith. How many of us know that it is not allowed to be in an argument and keep away from another Muslim for more than three days?
The Prophet salallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said: It is not permissible for a man to forsake his Muslim brother for more than three days, each of them turning away from the other when they meet. The better of them is the one who gives the greeting of salaam first. [al-Bukhari, 5727; Muslim, 2560].
To Conclude
Forgiving others is crucial for our success in the Hereafter; one forgives to seek forgiveness. But forgiving others also brings lots of physical and spiritual benefits in this world!
To inspire us to fight our ego and really try to forgive with our hearts and not only with our lips,
Abu Sa’id al Khudri reported Allah’s Messenger as saying: When the believers pass safely over (the bridge across) Hell, they will be stopped at a bridge (the siraat) between Hell and Paradise where they will retaliate against one another for the injustices done among them in the world, and when they are purified of all their sins, they will be admitted to Paradise. By Him in Whose hands the life of Muhammad is, everybody will recognize his dwelling in Paradise better than he recognizes his dwelling in this world. [al-Bukhari, Fath Al-Bari]
So think about Allah, your Most Beloved, and think about your ego. The choice is yours.
Homework:
Imagine that moment on the siraat when those who you wronged will be free to take away your hasanat and you might end up not having enough left to pass to Jannah!
1. Ask forgiveness from others and forgive those you have ill-feelings for asap.
You can make a general email or a text for all your friends/family/colleagues saying eg : “ Dear brother/sister, please forgive me if I ever said anything which made you upset or hurt you, I love you for the sake of Allah. May we be reunited in Jannah.”
2. If there are specific people you are in an argument with, to whom you haven’t spoke for a while, take action.
Phone them or visit them to ask for their forgiveness and tell them you forgive them! A beautiful idea is to give especially these persons in your life a little gift, suffice is the statement of RasulAllah: “Tahaaddu tahaabbu (Give gifts and you shall love one another)” (Bukhari).
May Allah subhanahu wa ta’alaa give us all the ability to forgive others for the wrong they do to us and make us more productive Muslims through this and may Allah forgive us all for our sins– Ameen.
I pray you will benefit,
~ Khawlah bint Yahya, United Kingdom
THE AYAH JOURNAL, Qur’an & Productivity is a global project with the exciting goal to inspire every Muslim worldwide to open the Qur’an every day, pick one ayah and apply it to your own life by making acting on the ayah your mission for the day. Let’s bring back the message of the Qur’an to our daily life! Check www.ayahjournal.com and follow us on www.facebook.com/ayahjournal for vibrant Qur’an & Productivity tips.
Forgive and forget is a simple but very effective formula that can be the answers to most people who suffer from stress and sleepless night.
Assalam,
i am from Nigeria, i thank you & appreciate your effort in spreading the message of islam, especially in this internet forum.
I had learn alot from your post & i expect much more you.
Jazakalla khairan!…….
Once Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddiq (radi Allahu anhu) was sitting with the Prophet (sal allahu alaihi wa sallam) when a man came and started to abuse Hazrat Abu Bakr. Hazrat Abu Bakr remained silent. Finally, he started to speak in his defence. At this point the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) got up and left. Hazrat Abu Bakr immediately went after him and inquired if he had done something wrong. Rasul Allah replied that as long as he had been silent, angels had been speaking on his behalf, but when he started to respond, the devil came and sat down next to him. As the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) could not remain seated where the devil was sitting, he left.Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 36:
General Behavior (Kitab Al-Adab).
Book 36, Number 4878:
thanks 4 sharing dis hadith, does it mean one should not defend himself?, at times silence might worsen d case or paint one bad, and at d end of d issue one might be blamed for not defending himself at d right time. i need a response pls
If something is recommended to be done 70 times, like seeking forgiveness from Allah SWT, then we should at least try to forgive the same person at least 70 times before calling it a quit!
This article was a refreshing one, when mind was confused with a similar issue this was a heart and mind opener, thank you so much for brushing this subject. Jazak allah Khairan, may allah reward you with the best .
I love your articles Jazak Allah khair .
What you wrote is so true
In addition to forgiveness, another emotion that benefits us if we practice it often is Gratitude
Speaking of forgiveness…lets not forget that forgiving ourselves is as important a forgiving others
I recently read an article where it stated that a great way to forgive was to use our imagination to see that person being blessed and happy…to associate good feelings with the person that has hurt us..or the person that needs forgiving
A quote I read:
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the flower leaves on the heel of the one that crushed it”
For some people it's easy to forgive, but it's very difficult to forget.
it was a good and effective reading. Very beautifully explained.
i have just read this article….this made me to realize that
if we want Allah s forgiveness…we will have to learn to forgive others….we should make our hearts clear for others…its beneficial for us
forgivness is a good thing,but how can we forget after forgiving.means its a human psychology that first or erlier impressions can never forget or it comes in mind whn somone behave same
Dear Umme, forgiveness is necessary, and we are commanded to forgive, but forgiveness does not always restore a relationship. If the person whom you are forgiving is not sorry, it is likely that he or she will continue to hurt you. In cases like this you are not required to continue trusting this person, and it might be best to avoid him or her. These kinds of decisions can only be made after prayer and careful consideration of the rules given us in the Quran. May Allah (swt) guide you to the right response.
Jazakallah Kheyran Yazeeda!
Jazaka allahu hajran,i am crying now,insaallah i will forgive in the name of Allah and hope so that He will help me.i fill pains of many people,but i will forgive them because Allah is all my fortune.el hamdulillah for all in the past,now and in future.la illaha illallah muhammedun rassulullah.
Jazaka Allah. Your efforts will have a very positive effect on the minds of all Muslims. But it is seen that most of the people are not following the advices and pay no heed.. I appeal to all the Muslims to do what Allah SWT says “Who control their rage and forgive other people, Allah likes such good people very much” Surah Al-Imran Ayat 134. so that we are liked by Allah SWT. .
very interesting article
But I want to know abt forgiving the person n not forgetting it what is Islam stance on this matter
Masha Allah Very Useful Article. May Allah reward You abundantly. Weak Men wont Forgive. forgiving is the quality of the strong. so i humbly appeal all of us should be very strong in this context.