Allah (swt) has created all of us unique, with different passions and interests, degrees of faith and patience, ideas and ethics. Marriage is a beautiful blessing, but can also have it’s fair share of distress and complications. It is in times of difficulty that it is important to remember Allah (swt) and His instructions when it comes to living happily ever after with your partner.
It is He who created you from one soul and created from it its mate that he might dwell in security with her. And when he covers her, she carries a light burden and continues therein. And when it becomes heavy, they both invoke Allah , their Lord, “If You should give us a good [child], we will surely be among the grateful.” [7:189]
Avoid Shaytan’s Traps
Shaytan’s mission is to sow discord between us and Allah (swt) and other believers. We are tested with temptations and tempers, and in marriage these can be very dangerous if we give in to Shaytans will. Shaytan did so to Adam and Eve while they were in the Garden, so we have to take caution and not let him keep us from Allah’s (swt) promise.
Then We said, “O Adam, surely this is an enemy to you and to your spouse; so definitely do not let him drive you both out of the Garden, so that you be wretched.” [20:117]
All marriages have their own problems, just as we each face our own transgressions so don’t be in despair if your marriage is not perfect, rather strive for a healthy and happy marriage using what Allah (swt) has taught is in the Quran, subhan allah!
My grandmother, may Allah (swt) bless her soul, always told me that patience is a virtue. I have carried this through life, and now recognise why Allah (swt) stresses the importance of patience through all things.
So be patient with gracious patience. [70:05]
Have patience with your husband if he works long hours or gets distracted by his own interests and hobbies. Be patient with your wife if she is emotional or forgetful at times. Having patience and not letting Shaytan come between you will prevent arguments and increase understanding between you, in shaa allah.
We are blessed to have Allah (swt) to forgive us for our sins, so how selfish are we to hold a grudge against our spouse for small and insignificant matters? Would you prefer to hold a grudge in your heart, feel frustrated, ignore eachother, and argue for days or instantly smile, and open your heart to forgiveness?
Those who spend (of that which Allah hath given them) in ease and in adversity, those who control their wrath and are forgiving toward mankind; Allah loveth the good; [3:134]
Allah (swt) loves all things good, so if something your spouse does is frustrating or hurtful, talk with them peacefully and forgive them. They may not know what they have done has hurt you, and by forgiving them you will be pleasing Allah (swt) while creating harmony in your marriage.
Always be kind to your husband or wife. Do good things for them, compliment them, and thank them for all the good they do. It is these reminders that keep us feeling as if we have purpose and we are appreciated. If you are always kind to one another, it will be less likely you will find things to be unhappy with each other about.
Kind speech and forgiveness are better than charity followed by injury. And Allah is Free of need and Forbearing. [2:263]
Above all things, we must put our faith and trust in Allah (swt). Although it may not be easy, because of this bond we have formed with our Creator, it is our obligation to have trust for one another. Besides, your distrust could be the result of suspicion and Shaytans tricks. Really consider if you want to be judged and punished by Allah (swt) for mistreating and accusing your spouse falsely!
And put your trust in Allah; and sufficient is Allah as Disposer of affairs. [33:3
When creating this bond of marriage, we also form a bond of trust. To love and care for one another and to be loyal and faithful is a promise we made in the eyes of Allah (swt), so we must be careful not to break that trust.
And they who are to their trusts and their promises attentive [23:8]
Hugs are a wonderful thing! They can uplift us and remind us that we are loved in times we are down and help us feel appreciated. Show your spouse affection and give them love. Caress them with your words and comfort them with your hands, smile and laugh and be thankful for this wonderful blessing, masha allah!
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought. [30:21]
Don’t Give Up
Keep striving to please Allah (swt). Pray when times are difficult and talk to Allah(swt). Ask Him for help, for patience, for forgiveness for yourself and your spouse. Do things together, find a hobby, take a course that will help you understand one another. Get closer to one another while learning for the sake of Allah (swt) and taking a course to Understand Quran. Make lots of Dua and have faith that Allah (swt) will change the condition of your hearts.
And those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.” [25:74]
Praying you will benefit.