I crawled, I walked, and then I ran,
But I stumbled before the flight began,
So I dragged myself on the runway to fly
As I felt the angel in me slowly die
I sinned and I repented and again I sinned,
Smothering in all the regrets I’d lived
I followed every Iblees— I fed his greed
I crossed the boundaries ’til I wasn’t even me
My spirit so restless, now trying to escape,
All through this nightmare I’ve been awake
The burden of it all, gravity couldn’t defy
And I waved the angel in me goodbye
I bathed in my sins, to an ebony heart
But now is the time that I want a new start
Sunshine has been sucked out of my life;
I am alive yet dead inside
My head betrayed my heart, a head deceived by thoughts,
My soul was filled with endless dots
So I dug a bit more, I searched the depth of my soul
I found the answer there, so I searched no more
The month of mercy has knocked at my door
And I’m now ready to open all four—
Tawheed, Salah, Sawm and Zakaat
To shed the darkness, tearing it apart
Let the light peek through holes
Let goosebumps fill me whole
I stare at the clock as it steals my time,
Cut its hands as it commits that crime
I shouldn’t say soon, I should say now—
Tomorrow is too late for me to bow
30 days are all I have, the clock won’t tick slow
I shall always reap what I always sow
So I burn all the bridges to not go back
Back to the shame, back to the wreck
I found peace when I bowed down to Him
To set my worth there, I don’t need wings
The weathers may change, life may move around
I wouldn’t want to fly because I like the ground
Angels don’t have free-will like mine
They only follow the commandments divine
Over angels, Allah gave Adam supremacy
He repented but I couldn’t continue the legacy
I don’t need to be an angel— I need to be me
All I need is a heart set free
Free for The One Who deserves the most
To Him my free-will is now sold
I’m glad the realization hit me swift
Before I could drown myself in countless sins
I won’t get up ’til You pardon every wrong deed
O Merciful, another chance is all I need
I will try my best to be my best
This tired soul now needs a rest
Please help me repair my damaged heart
Sorry, I couldn’t keep your treasure unharmed
Exhausted by my own sins, I plead to You,
Set me free from the burden I grew
I can’t lift it anymore, it’s burying me six feet deep
How will Iwalk towards You, carrying this heap
So before my breath leaves my lips
Forgive me, My Rabb, I don’t deserve it
Tears came streaming down my face
As I realized I was pulled from the haze
Samina Farooq is an engineer by qualification, a Qur’an student by occupation, a photographer by eye, a writer by heart, and a Muslim by soul.
Amazing. JazakAllah khair.
JazakAllah. This is beautiful!
God bless you.
Excellent. JazakAllahu khairan.
I feel that it’s for me.
Jazak Allah, It is the best of best.
It’s lovely, thanks!
very diverse mashAllah .
Extremely hard worked upon
love the part
I stare at the clock as it steals my time
cut its hands as it commits that crime
Amazing sense of metaphors
Perfect
This is all just very beautifully and perfectly put.
You’re good at this MashaAllah.
oh God! it’s beautiful masha Allaah!
nice start…
Let the light peek through the holes
Let the goosebumps fill me whole (beautifulllll………)
jazakumullahu khair : )
special thanks to those who helped me with the title and improvement of this poem : )
my husband, my sister, my friends (maria, maimoona)
may Allah bless them all
Maashaa Allah, the language is so simple to understand, Great job! may Allah bless you with more knowledge, aameen.
Subahallah mashallah what a beautiful poem. Allah swt forgive our sins and never make us go back to it. Keep us away from Jahannam and give us Jannath al firdouse al naeem with our beloved habeeb prophet Muhammed sallahu alihi wa sallam.
SubhaanAllah. Very nice poem. I liked it very much. Keep writing and do share
MashaaALlah thousand MashaaALlah.
You are an inspiration.
Its beautiful.
Really loved the poem
Simply awesome! May Allah enhance your skills more and more, Aameen. 🙂
Very nice, Masha’Allah!
Mashallah.. Bohatttt achi likhi hai.. No words
this is very nice and well thot and written out, felt she was speaking my mind, like this part most ‘i bath in my sin to an ebony heart’ if she had added ‘and now i reek of sin all over where i go’ then this would have been just me, subhanallah May Allah have mercy on our souls ameen
@zaynab – that’s a very good line indeed. Probably when i write a new poem inshaaAllah i will keep this metaphor in mind : ) jazakillahu khair.
jazakumullahu khairan to all for taking the time out to comment/give feedback.
Salaam Samina, i just stumbled upon the above poem and it has taken my breath away, every line has heart broken plea and yet it is full of hope. MashAllah. Allah bless you with much more. such a gift to be able to express in such a manner .
I shouldn’t say soon, I should say now—
Tomorrow is too late for me to bow
I found peace when I bowed down to Him
To set my worth there, I don’t need wings