After-Divorce Counseling— From the Quran

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By Tabassum Mosleh

Those experiencing  after-divorce setbacks will find true tranquility only in the Quran, and not just in the ayat on divorce. But for now let’s look at an ayah specific  to this subject. Allah (swt) says:

But if they separate [by divorce], Allah will enrich each [of them] from His abundance. And ever is Allah Encompassing and Wise. And to Allah belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth. And We have instructed those who were given the Scripture before you and yourselves to fear Allah . But if you disbelieve – then to Allah belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth. And ever is Allah Free of need and Praiseworthy. And to Allah belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth. And sufficient is Allah as Disposer of affairs. If He wills, He can do away with you, O people, and bring others [in your place]. And ever is Allah competent to do that. Whoever desires the reward of this world – then with Allah is the reward of this world and the Hereafter. And ever is Allah Hearing and Seeing. [Quran 4:128-134]

Lessons from this Quranic passage:

  1. Divorce means loss of financial support (for women), emotional support, and intimacy. Allah (swt) says that He will reimuburse each spouse, of whatever he or she lost, from His infinite treasures.
  2. It’s sometimes difficult for the divorced person to find solace in others around them because it’s difficult to understand the situation unless you yourself have gone through it. The divorced person will sometimes feel overwhelmed with all the problems coming from different directions, on top of their emotional fragility. If this happens, know that Allah is al-Wasi’, and nothing is beyond His control.
  3. It’s often difficult to accept the fact that your spouse left you. Know that whatever happened was the decree of Al-Hakim, the most Wise. Even if it looks bleak right now, good will definitely come out of this. You’ll probably realize the wisdom of Allah’s decree when you look back at your life two years from now.
  4. When a calamity strikes, we say: inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajiun, that is, we belong to Allah, and to Him we will return. Now we can better understand why Allah says right after mentioning divorce three times: And to Allah belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth. Whatever Allah has taken from us belong to Him anyway. He takes His gifts away from us for reasons we may not understand, and He may give us amazing gifts when we least expect them.
  5. It’s difficult to remember all these lessons when you’re at the lowest, when you’re crying your heart out. It’s at these moments when taqwa comes to your rescue. You feel Allah’s presence, and, instead of crying over spilled milk, you cry out to Him for help and solace. But if one doesn’t have taqwa to support him at these moments, Shaytan will incite the feelings of anger at divine decree and ungratefulness to Allah. “Why did this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this?” and so on. This state of mind is at the very edge of disbelief– one more step and you’re out of Islam. Allah’s makes it very clear that His kingdom doesn’t depend upon you or me– He is free of need, but we’re in need of Him.
  6. The only way we can lighten this heavy burden we are carrying is by leaning on Allah. Leave everything in the hands of Allah, and He’ll take care of you. What if life looks all shattered and broken? He is capable of reconstructing it, stronger and more beautiful than before.

And sufficient is Allah as Disposer of affairs.

 

Tabassum is a final year student of BA in Islamic Studies at Islamic Online University, and a Foundation student on Classical Arabic and Islamic Studies at al-Salam Institute. She also has a degree in Mechanical Engineering, and studies psychology by herself. She’s interested in a wide range of subjects, and writes about them at understandquran.com/blog and other blogs. Contact: tabassum_mosleh@hotmail.com

 

1 Comment

  1. Shirin November 27, 2015 Reply

    Masha Allah nice article. May Allah bless you. Ameen

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